février 2012
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Messy Feelings
Two days ago, we met at 2am in the parking lot and talked in your car. You called me “little lady” and said “look at me” because I was avoiding your gaze. I finally looked at you intensely for a brief five seconds before cracking a smile. You said I was “cool” and hoped that you made a “good first impression.” In the end, you reached for a hug,...
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I think I can say that I’m fairly certain that I have any expectations or further interests in romantic love at this point. I’m now perfectly content again to not have anyone in my life. It might be because of the endorphin cocktails I’ve been having lately, in which case all I might need is a hamster wheel.
and soon I stop thinking and feeling...
Am I alive then?
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No one ever follows through or just leaves me hanging. I always feel like second choice. It does hurt a little, until I imagine myself before having met these people.
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Social Experimenting
Hunting for love - I guess this will be the new series in my life now. I just asked the barista at safeway out. He asked “whyy?” and smiled nervously and said he had “plans.” My being too forward backfired. I’m gonna keep trying out this new strategy for fun. See if it works sometime. Maybe I’ll move onto corny pickup lines when I’m really desperate and...
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Awoke from a deep sleep last night with a clean renewed self. Erased my ego. Time to rebuild a new one for daily societal functioning.
Lire la vidéoThe Love Competition
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I’m craving a little emotion today.
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Introverts start school by screaming for Mommy not to leave them. Then they stand on the periphery and watch the others, without talking to or interacting with anyone (Keirsey & Bates, 1978). When they finally muster up enough courage to enter into the other children’s activities, they try to redesign everything to fit their own vision of the way things should be. When the extroverts do...
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Okay. I’m being realistic now. My mood changes are mentally killing me and any academic motivation I have left. I’m swinging from desperately sad to energetic and momentarily happy. Today I’m hard and logical, and trying to stave off the craving for emotions. It’s better to nip these feelings in the bud, since they’re not real anyways, just withdrawal symptoms based...
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I have a prospective date this week. It hasn’t even been a week since I started this whole online dating thing, and it feels so strange to have such a change in my life and start meeting some people. I often wonder though, if I’ll fall in love again because of the person or just the desire for the feeling caring tenderness and attention. I’m getting the tingles for this one -...
Sometimes, at the end of the day, I surprise myself by finding out that if open my mouth, I can talk.
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online dating.
